I have hacked KFG's account
Why hello, citizens of this community known as a "wiki". This is Elias, also known as Elias K'nughih'ghieghh the Echinda, and also known as the Uncle of that god forsaken River K'nughih'ghieghh the Echidna. It seems as though there have been much hate towards me and misconceptions about me made by the other users of this site, most commonly SigmaAlphaThree and KniroAndTito3915. So in order to clear up my name, I have escaped from the darkest corners of my creator's mind and into the real word temporarily, and have hacked KnucklesFangirl's account for the time being. Actually, I didn't hack it, she just left herself logged in. What, you think I have the ability to hack computers? Bitch, I have lived 47 years on an island with no computers, I can't work that shit. Anyways, here's my list of changes I would like to see... Number One: Upsilon needs to calm the FUCK down and find a different Mating Partner. I have encountered this boy named Upsilon several times in my experiences here. He is apparently a "Mink," whatever the hell those are, and every time I have met him, he has been a pain in my quills! Every time I have met him, he is always preventing me from doing one of my many duties: showing my Niece her place. According to SigmaAlphaThree, apparently River is his... "Waifu," which I assume is a colloquial term for "Wife". Excuse me, Upsilon, but how old are you? 16 years? Oh dear, you are far too young to be married. I have grown up on a semi-tribal island, and not even we were married at that age. That is mildly disturbing. Anyways, that is not what has caught my attention the most. What is the most disturbing, disgusting, horrifying part of this is... ... he actually LOVES River!? Oh my god how the hell is that even possible!?! What does that boy see in her? Do you know what I see? A freakish, cursed girl with unnatural fur, unholy abilities, and a horrible fashion sense. Not only that, but she is a COLD. BLOODED. KILLER. She has drowned god knows how many people from our island, including my beloved wife Kaiyo, and she has felt no remorse for it! I have told this to Upsilon, but somehow he's still smitten with her! He's even had children with her in the future, and after seeing them, I must say that we should NEVER EVER crossbreed Minks with Echidnas. He is far too overprotective of River; don't believe me? Read some of these excerpts... Upsilon reasoned that the older red echidna was River’s uncle, Elias. After realizing that fact, rage swelled through the dark purple mink. He was looking at the guy who had the nerve to hurt one of his friends, and to come to their own school. ''(Gem High: Year Two, GETTING OUT EARLY) This was our first encounter; River had made herself look like the victim to him, and because of her idiocy this boy has a vendetta against me before I even said "Hello". Is he seriously believing everything she says about me before he even knows me? ''As much as he wanted to punch Elias in the face then and there, he decided that he should try to avoid conflict as peacefully possible first. ''(Gem High: Year Two, GETTING OUT EARLY) Oh wow, we have only had eye contact for a few seconds and already you want to start a fight? Talk about aggressive. ''"Sir, you should '''really' let go of her," The purple mink warned Elias in a cold, sharp tone. He clenched his fists and a whole mess of shadows came pouring into his palms, ready to be used to attack. (Gem High: Year Two, AFTER SCHOOL) And it turns out he has freakish powers too, and he's threatening to use them on ME! Upsilon, can't you just allow me to fullfill my duty? ''“'I don’t care''' if you think this doesn’t concern me,” Upsilon shot back, “You’re hurting River, and that’s all I really care about right now. I won’t tell you again, Elias–“ Upsilon flicked his hand out and his shadow sword flowed its own form, and rested in the palms of his hand, “– Leave River here.”'' (Gem High: Year Two, AFTER SCHOOL) Pulling a weapon out on me, eh? And a sword, too. Kid, you're not a Knight in shining armor; you're a teenager in a jacket and boots. Also, my Niece is not your Princess (in fact, she's more of a witch, which is why I believe we should burn her at the stake). “A large… tsunami..?” Upsilon repeated. He looked over at River, trying to imagine a girl like her ever killing her family member, and most likely many others, and he just couldn’t make that image out in his head. Besides, what motive could she possible have, what would she have gained? “I highly doubt River would ever do something that awful…” (Gem High: Year Two, AFTER SCHOOL) You are clearly in denial, boy. You've become so obsessed with her that you can't even see the truth of what she's done. Need I remind you that with her powers and birth, she is practically the REINCARNATION of CHAOS? And as another reminder, CHAOS NEARLY MADE OUR ENTIRE ECHIDNA RACE EXTINCT! To put it in real world terms, she's like Hitler reincarnated into a Jewish girl's body. Just who would want to love a reincarnation of Hitler? He looked away from the girl and looked at the snowy embankment visible through the room’s large window. '''The next time I see Elias,' Upsilon thought, He’s dead… this needs to end. River just can’t go on like this... ''(Gem High: Year Two, AFTER SCHOOL) I've only known you for two days and you're threatening to KILL me?! With that stupid Knight sword of yours I assume, too. Also, you're overreacting to that nightmare she had. Trust me, she had nightmares about me all the time when she was younger, and she's endured them without your help... okay, so she may have tried seeking psychological help several times in the past, but she's still technically endured it since no one offered her therapy or something of the sort. So what have we learned from this? Upsilon is clearly obsessed with the wrong kind of person, and he should calm down and leave her immediately before he goes too far. He clearly doesn't understand the complications and the reasons why I have to hurt River, and because of that he's willing to kill for her. Stop, just stop. You're a total hopeless romantic. Number Two: Remove the "Elias Needs to Die" page Oh boy, this had to be one of the worst things I have encountered. An entire page, dedicated solely to how much SigmaAlphaThree hates me. Let's just commentate through the slideshow, shall we? Here is the first slide. I see that you have referred to me as a "Twerp." Please, I am anything but a Twerp. And no, I am not part tree, I just have tall height as one of my genetics. It was inherited from my father, and my brother has this trait as well as he is only two inches shorter than myself. Oh great, you're going on about Upsilon's unhealthy obsession with that abomination... also, I love my blue eyes, thank you very much. It was a trait inherited from my mother, who must I remind you is DIED WHEN I WAS A CHILD, and her eyes in mine are the only thing I have left to remember her by. And that somehow makes me demon spawn. Also, I don't care if the picture is accidentally widened; that picture of me was poorly taken anyway. I hurt River because she tends to grow overconfident, and she needs to be reminded of her place in this world. Also, I sound absolutely nothing like that. River is not adorable and great, she is freakish and should have never been born. And what's so wrong about her being unprotected? I've confronted her many times where she is helpless, and she's always turned out fine. About the worst that's happened is that she's had some blood drawn, but she isn't required to have a shield up in my presence. Besides, it would have become hectic had anybody else been involved. Third, I had to grab her arm to stop her from attacking me back. She was becoming overconfident and she needed to be reminded that I have authority over her. I will never give her the chance to fight back; she needs to know that I, the mature, normal, adult is dominant over her cursed and juvenille self. It had been a long time since I had last seen her, so I needed to take on double the percautions to ensure that she wouldn't grow overconfident. Obsessed boyfriend Upsilon here stopped me from doing my duty, because clearly he doesn't understand that she is a monster. And again, I sound absolutely nothing like that. As for the second bulletin, you can't stop me from hurting her. Even though KnucklesFangirl has decided to leave me out of her stories and roleplays for the time being, she is still probably going to end up using me again. I don't know why she wants to cause so much harm to her creation, but I'm not arguing against it. Also, that picture looks nothing like me; that looks like a horrible Pacman fancharacter. And you made the borders pink to represent my torn flesh? I thought it would be more red than pink, to be honest... Well first of all, would you expect River to have consentual sex with me? No, not at all. If she did, then I would have thought she had lost her sanity. Anyways, I had to threaten to kill Epsilon, because knowing her she would have defied me had I not done that. I know how far a Mother's love can go; they would do anything to save their children. But considering how freakish those Mink and Echinda hyrbids are, it probably would have been better had I killed Epsilon. Also, how unoriginal can you get? Epsilon? Couldn't you just name him "Obsessed Ignorant White-Knight Boyfriend the Second"? And finally, this was in a COMPLETELY different timeline, so it has never happened canonically. And why would I want to have sex with my Niece? One, she is my blood relative, and I wouldn't stoop so low to incest. Two, she is 32 years younger than me, that's practically pedophilia. Three, she is a disgusting freak and I don't find her attractive at all. Four, I am well aware that I could have risked... impregnating her (note that I shuddered as I typed those words), and as the canonical Elias speaking here, that would be my WORST NIGHTMARE. I WOULD NEVER EVER WANT TO HAVE A CHILD WITH A PERSON LIKE HER! Never see the light of day again? Oh come on, you know I'll find a way to come back. And I've inflicted harm on UPSILON? I've never even touched him; if anything he's probably going to try inflicting harm on me sometime soon, since, you know, he has pulled out a sword on me! You know what? I'm not even going to continue with that presentation. Mostly because I have nothing else to say about it because I am so annoyed by these misconceptions. Number Three: Please stop referring to me as the "Jerk Uncle" I do have a name, and it is Elias. I would prefer it if I was called by my name, thank you very much! I have also been called many other names, most of which are so horrible that I would rather not repeat them in my own voice. If these problems persist and new ones arise, I will continue to add on to this list when I have the chance. Wait, what was that noise? It must have been nothi- OH FUCK KFG IS WAKING UP! I NEED TO FINISH THIS MESSAGE BEFORE SHE STARTS SMASHING MY FACE INTO THE KEYBO- ERFHJHGSREDDRTRSDG4W32TRETRDGTRTRDFCUDCFBG TRGGYJ DTHDRTJNTRJGFNRV 54YU4THN VRTSHGV BSGRNT rthSRTGHR6STH Category:Elias lovers Category:Not a character Category:SEXY Category:Best thing ever created Category:In-character rants Category:Wow Category:Okay seriously Category:SONIC THE HEDGEHOG